I love a good pun and dad joke, perhaps more than most so I thought I would keep a running post of the various jokes I have heard / come across in this post. I have two kids but if I am honest I have been preparing for the dad-joke moment for most of my life….

The below puns / dad jokes have a science theme:

  • Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
  • If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
  • The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
  • If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
  • A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I'm traveling light.”
  • Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
  • Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.
  • Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
  • Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I'll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I'll have an H2O too” — and he died.
  • Q: Why can you never trust atoms? A: They make up everything!
  • I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
  • Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems? A: They have all the solutions.
  • Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
  • Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who visited 30 different countries and spoke 6 languages? He was a man of many cultures.
  • A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect. Apparently he was ambidextrose.
  • Q: Y'all want to hear a Potassium joke? A: K
  • What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into the other?, Sorry my Fault
  • What did the biologist wear to impress his date?, Designer genes
  • What type of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?, 2 Na
  • What do you call an accountant for the biology department?, A buy-ologist.
  • What kind of tree can be placed into your hand?, A palm tree
  • What do you call a FISH with no eyes?, A FSH.
  • What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of himself?, A cell-fie
  • What type of dogs do chemists own?, Laboratory Retrievers
  • What does blood say when it’s trying to be optimistic?, B Positive.
  • What was the first Electricity Detective’s name?, Sherlock Ohms.
  • In 1905, Albert Einstein published a theory about space. And it was about time.
  • What do clouds do when they become rich? A. They make it rain!
  • We really need to stop talking about mitosis. It's such a divisive issue.
  • Atom 1: “I think I've lost an electron.” Atom 2: “Are you sure?” Atom 1: “I'm positive.”
  • When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
  • A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
  • What did their parents say when they heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going to get married? A: OMg
  • Once I told a Chemistry joke. There was no Reaction.
  • Salt made a pun joke and it was Sodium funny
  • Chemists are so happy in the lab because they’re in their element.
  • What is a chemist’s favorite holiday song?, Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE!
  • Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?, It went OK.
  • What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?, That’s a(s)-salt!
  • What do you call an acid with an attitude?, A-mean-o Acid
  • What do solids, liquids and gases have in common?, They all matter.
  • I was reading a book on helium and I just couldn’t put it down.


Check back periodically as I will no doubt expand this list :).

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